Engineer jokes
 

I've heard and enjoyed many muso and therapist jokes in my time, and
wondered if anyone could add to my small stock of engineer jokes. The
ones I have a

Hot Air Balloon
A man flying in a hot air balloon realizes he is lost. He reduces his
altitude and spots a man in a field down below. He lowers the balloon
further and shouts,
"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, about 30 feet
above this field."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am. How did you know?"
"Everything you told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to
anyone."
The man below says, "You must be in management."
"I am. But how did you know?"
"You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me
to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met,
but now it's my fault."

THE GEOLOGIST AND THE ENGINEER
A man floating along in a hot air balloon began to realise he was lost.
He reduced his altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a
little more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a
friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am".
The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering
approximately 30 feet above a late Cambrian volcaniclastic sedimentary
sequence, 2.7 kilometres west of the Henty River near one of the major
fault structures in the region."
"You must be an geologist", said the balloonist.
"I am." replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well", answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically
correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the
fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far".
The woman below responded, "You must be a engineer".
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are
going. You have risen to where you are through a large quantity of hot
air. You made a promise to someone that you have no idea how to keep,
and you expect me to solve your problem, but you really aren't
interested in the information I'm providing. The fact is you are in
exactly the same
situation you were before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"

Q: How can you tell if the engineer you are talking to is an extravert?

A: He looks at your shoes instead of his.

Why Engineers Don't Write Cookbooks:---------------
Chocolate Chip Cookies Ingredients:
1.) 532.35 cm3 gluten
2.) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3.) 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4.) 236 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5.) 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6.) 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7.) 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8.) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
ovoids
9.) 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10.) 236 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size # 10)

·To a 2-l jacketed round reactor # 1 with an overall heat transfer
coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and
three with constant agitation.
·In a second 2-l reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating
at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the
mixture is homogenous.
·To reactor # 2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes
of the homogenous mixture in reactor # 1. Additionally, add ingredient
nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at
this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be
the result of an exothermic reaction.
·Using a screw extrude attached to a # 4 nodulizer, place the mixture
piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm).
·Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with
Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or
until golden brown.
·Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer
table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
"Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday
minding my own business
when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the
ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'"
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn't
have fit."

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
possible designers of the human body.
--- One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the
joints."
--- Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous
system has many thousands of electrical connections."
--- The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would
run a toxic waste
pipeline through a recreational area?"

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
---The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
foundation for an enduring relationship.
---The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the
passion and mystery he found there.
---The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each
assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to
the lab and get some work done."

Engineer jokes
 

"Andy Evans" wrote in message
oups.com...
I've heard and enjoyed many muso and therapist jokes in my time, and
wondered if anyone could add to my small stock of engineer jokes. The
ones I have a


Andy, these are excellent!!

:-))

I particularly liked this one:


Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
"Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday
minding my own business
when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the
ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'"
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn't
have fit."

:-)))

LOL!!

Engineer jokes
 

Found these - more anecdotal:

Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term exam paper:
"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat), or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Support your answer with a proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or
some variant thereof. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once
a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these
religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you
will go to Hell. Since, there are more than one of these religions, and
since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project
that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as
they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
Hell, because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as
souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Krissy Jones during my
Freshman year that "it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with
you" and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then (2) cannot be true, and thus I
am sure that
Hell is exothermic.
This student got the only A.

The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the
University of Copenhagen:

"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a
barometer."

One student replied: "You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the
barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to
the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer
will
equal the height of the building."

This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student
was failed immediately. He appealed on the grounds that his answer was
indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent
arbiter
to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed
correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To
resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him
six minutes in
which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal
familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in
thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which
the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but
couldn't make
up his mind which to use.

On being advised to hurry up, the student replied as follows:

"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the
skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to
reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out
from the formula H =0.5g
x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer".

"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the
barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow.
Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter
it is a simple matter
of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper".

"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a
short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum,
first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The
height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring
force T = 2 pi sqrroot (l / g)".

"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be
easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in
barometer lengths, then add them up"
..
"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course,
you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of
the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in
millibars into
meters to give the height of the building".

"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of
mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to
knock on the janitor's door and say to him

'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if
you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."

The student was Niels Bohr, the only Dane to win the Nobel prize for
Physics.

Engineer jokes
 

The wireless telegraph is not difficult to understand. The ordinary
telegraph is like a very long cat. You pull the tail in New York, and it
meows in Los Angeles. The wireless is the same, only without the cat.

Albert Einstein

Engineer jokes
 

Hi,

"Andy Evans" wrote in message
oups.com...

Why Engineers Don't Write Cookbooks:---------------
Chocolate Chip Cookies Ingredients:

When I first heard that one, it was about a chemist! Times change,
I guess.

Regards,

Glenn.

Engineer jokes
 

In article .com, Andy
Evans wrote:
I've heard and enjoyed many muso and therapist jokes in my time, and
wondered if anyone could add to my small stock of engineer jokes. The
ones I have a

Hot Air Balloon
A man flying in a hot air balloon realizes he is lost. He reduces his
altitude and spots a man in a field down below. He lowers the balloon
further and shouts,
"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, about 30 feet
above this field."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am. How did you know?"
"Everything you told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to
anyone."
The man below says, "You must be in management."
"I am. But how did you know?"
"You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me
to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met,
but now it's my fault."

In the version of this that I've seen most recently (in a broadcast trade
magazine), the person on the ground was a cameraman.
[...]

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Now that one I haven't seen before. Defnitely one to keep. :-)

Rod.

Engineer jokes
 

On 7 Mar 2006 04:22:20 -0800, "Andy Evans"
wrote:


The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the
University of Copenhagen:

"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a
barometer."

One student replied: "You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the
barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to
the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer
will
equal the height of the building."

This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student
was failed immediately. He appealed on the grounds that his answer was
indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent
arbiter
to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed
correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To
resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him
six minutes in
which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal
familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in
thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which
the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but
couldn't make
up his mind which to use.

On being advised to hurry up, the student replied as follows:

"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the
skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to
reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out
from the formula H =0.5g
x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer".

"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the
barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow.
Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter
it is a simple matter
of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper".

"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a
short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum,
first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The
height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring
force T = 2 pi sqrroot (l / g)".

"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be
easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in
barometer lengths, then add them up"
.
"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course,
you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of
the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in
millibars into
meters to give the height of the building".

"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of
mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to
knock on the janitor's door and say to him

'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if
you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."

The student was Niels Bohr, the only Dane to win the Nobel prize for
Physics.

I've always liked that one, particularly because it's true!

--

Stewart Pinkerton | Music is Art - Audio is Engineering

Engineer jokes
 

On 7 Mar 2006 04:04:03 -0800, "Andy Evans"
wrote:

I've heard and enjoyed many muso and therapist jokes in my time, and
wondered if anyone could add to my small stock of engineer jokes. The
ones I have a

Hot Air Balloon
A man flying in a hot air balloon realizes he is lost. He reduces his
altitude and spots a man in a field down below. He lowers the balloon
further and shouts,
"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, about 30 feet
above this field."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am. How did you know?"
"Everything you told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to
anyone."
The man below says, "You must be in management."
"I am. But how did you know?"
"You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me
to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met,
but now it's my fault."

THE GEOLOGIST AND THE ENGINEER
A man floating along in a hot air balloon began to realise he was lost.
He reduced his altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a
little more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a
friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am".
The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering
approximately 30 feet above a late Cambrian volcaniclastic sedimentary
sequence, 2.7 kilometres west of the Henty River near one of the major
fault structures in the region."
"You must be an geologist", said the balloonist.
"I am." replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well", answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically
correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the
fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far".
The woman below responded, "You must be a engineer".
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are
going. You have risen to where you are through a large quantity of hot
air. You made a promise to someone that you have no idea how to keep,
and you expect me to solve your problem, but you really aren't
interested in the information I'm providing. The fact is you are in
exactly the same
situation you were before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"

Um, shouldn't that be the geologist and the manager? :-)

Q: How can you tell if the engineer you are talking to is an extravert?

A: He looks at your shoes instead of his.

Very true! :-)

Why Engineers Don't Write Cookbooks:---------------
Chocolate Chip Cookies Ingredients:
1.) 532.35 cm3 gluten
2.) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3.) 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4.) 236 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5.) 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6.) 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7.) 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8.) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
ovoids
9.) 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10.) 236 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size # 10)

·To a 2-l jacketed round reactor # 1 with an overall heat transfer
coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and
three with constant agitation.
·In a second 2-l reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating
at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the
mixture is homogenous.
·To reactor # 2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes
of the homogenous mixture in reactor # 1. Additionally, add ingredient
nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at
this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be
the result of an exothermic reaction.
·Using a screw extrude attached to a # 4 nodulizer, place the mixture
piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm).
·Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with
Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or
until golden brown.
·Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer
table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

Yup - that's why it's called domestic *science* at school, not
domestic art............... :-)

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
"Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday
minding my own business
when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the
ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'"
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn't
have fit."

Yup - and since you're a rock-solid marriage proposition, you can
always go back later for the girl!

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Correct, but it does have room for expansion when funds allow.

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
possible designers of the human body.
--- One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the
joints."
--- Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous
system has many thousands of electrical connections."
--- The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would
run a toxic waste
pipeline through a recreational area?"

Henry Ford said it best:

"Women, bad design, exhaust too close to intake."

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
---The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
foundation for an enduring relationship.
---The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the
passion and mystery he found there.
---The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each
assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to
the lab and get some work done."

Top tip! :-)
--

Stewart Pinkerton | Music is Art - Audio is Engineering

Engineer jokes
 

"Andy Evans" wrote in message
oups.com...
I've heard and enjoyed many muso and therapist jokes in my time, and
wondered if anyone could add to my small stock of engineer jokes. The
ones I have a

SNIP

Well as an ex civil engineer there isn't much I would disagree with.

Roy.

Engineer jokes
 

"Stewart Pinkerton" wrote in message
...
On 7 Mar 2006 04:22:20 -0800, "Andy Evans"
wrote:


The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the
University of Copenhagen:

"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a
barometer."

One student replied: "You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the
barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to
the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer
will
equal the height of the building."

This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student
was failed immediately. He appealed on the grounds that his answer was
indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent
arbiter
to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed
correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To
resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him
six minutes in
which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal
familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in
thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which
the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but
couldn't make
up his mind which to use.

On being advised to hurry up, the student replied as follows:

"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the
skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to
reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out
from the formula H =0.5g
x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer".

"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the
barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow.
Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter
it is a simple matter
of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper".

"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a
short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum,
first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The
height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring
force T = 2 pi sqrroot (l / g)".

"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be
easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in
barometer lengths, then add them up"
.
"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course,
you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of
the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in
millibars into
meters to give the height of the building".

"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of
mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to
knock on the janitor's door and say to him

'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if
you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."

The student was Niels Bohr, the only Dane to win the Nobel prize for
Physics.

I've always liked that one, particularly because it's true!

--

Stewart Pinkerton | Music is Art - Audio is Engineering


True or urban legend? Niels Bohr was not the only Dane to win the Nobel
prize for Physics as Benjamin R. Mottelson and Aage Niels Bohr shared the
Nobel Prize for physics in 1975.

Mike

Engineer jokes
 

"Mike Gilmour" wrote in message
...

"Stewart Pinkerton" wrote in message
...
On 7 Mar 2006 04:22:20 -0800, "Andy Evans"
wrote:


The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the
University of Copenhagen:

"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a
barometer."

One student replied: "You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the
barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to
the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer
will
equal the height of the building."

This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student
was failed immediately. He appealed on the grounds that his answer was
indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent
arbiter
to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed
correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To
resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him
six minutes in
which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal
familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in
thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which
the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but
couldn't make
up his mind which to use.

On being advised to hurry up, the student replied as follows:

"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the
skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to
reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out
from the formula H =0.5g
x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer".

"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the
barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow.
Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter
it is a simple matter
of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper".

"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a
short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum,
first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The
height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring
force T = 2 pi sqrroot (l / g)".

"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be
easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in
barometer lengths, then add them up"
.
"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course,
you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of
the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in
millibars into
meters to give the height of the building".

"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of
mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to
knock on the janitor's door and say to him

'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if
you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."

The student was Niels Bohr, the only Dane to win the Nobel prize for
Physics.

I've always liked that one, particularly because it's true!

--

Stewart Pinkerton | Music is Art - Audio is Engineering


True or urban legend? Niels Bohr was not the only Dane to win the Nobel
prize for Physics as Benjamin R. Mottelson and Aage Niels Bohr shared the
Nobel Prize for physics in 1975.

Mike


On second thoughs although Benjamin was in Denmark his origins were USA so I
suppose you could say the quote was correct because of that.... unless
Benjamin took Danish citizenship of course....

Engineer jokes
 

"Mike Gilmour" wrote in message
...

"Mike Gilmour" wrote in message
...

"Stewart Pinkerton" wrote in message
...
On 7 Mar 2006 04:22:20 -0800, "Andy Evans"
wrote:


The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the
University of Copenhagen:

"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a
barometer."

One student replied: "You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the
barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to
the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer
will
equal the height of the building."

This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student
was failed immediately. He appealed on the grounds that his answer was
indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent
arbiter
to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed
correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To
resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him
six minutes in
which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal
familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in
thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which
the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but
couldn't make
up his mind which to use.

On being advised to hurry up, the student replied as follows:

"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the
skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to
reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out
from the formula H =0.5g
x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer".

"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the
barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow.
Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter
it is a simple matter
of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper".

"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a
short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum,
first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The
height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring
force T = 2 pi sqrroot (l / g)".

"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be
easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in
barometer lengths, then add them up"
.
"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course,
you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of
the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in
millibars into
meters to give the height of the building".

"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of
mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to
knock on the janitor's door and say to him

'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if
you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."

The student was Niels Bohr, the only Dane to win the Nobel prize for
Physics.

I've always liked that one, particularly because it's true!

--

Stewart Pinkerton | Music is Art - Audio is Engineering


True or urban legend? Niels Bohr was not the only Dane to win the Nobel
prize for Physics as Benjamin R. Mottelson and Aage Niels Bohr shared the
Nobel Prize for physics in 1975.

Mike


On second thoughs although Benjamin was in Denmark his origins were USA so
I suppose you could say the quote was correct because of that.... unless
Benjamin took Danish citizenship of course....


Phew got there in the end.....Yes he was a Danish citizen at the time so
that statement is not true.

Mike

Engineer jokes
 

"Andy Evans" wrote in
message
oups.com
Found these - more anecdotal:

The following concerns a question in a physics degree
exam at the University of Copenhagen:

"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper
with a barometer."

One student replied: "You tie a long piece of string to
the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from
the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of
the string plus the length of the barometer will
equal the height of the building."

As you say, anecdotal or as other sources say: urban legend

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/barometer.asp