"Keith G" wrote in message
...

"fredbloggstwo" wrote


I remember a few years back when working for an American company that
they were having an 'Over-achievers' company do in London. Most of the
American contingent refused to attend as they thought it was a bus ride
to Bagdad.

Mike


Here y'are Mike/fredbloggs, here's another one that just about sums 'em
all up (cut & paste):


The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are
"Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire
that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the
country's military capability.

The Germans also increased their alert status from "Disdainful Arrogance"
to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They also have two higher
levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

We British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist
threats and raised our security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, it
is believed, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or
even "A Bit Cross." Speaking as a Brit, we have not been "A Bit Cross"
since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have
been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time
the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning was during the great plague
of 1666.

Italy has increased their alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

Belgians, as usual, are all on holiday and the only threat they are
worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy
can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

New Zealand has also raised its security levels from "baaa" to "BAAAA!".
Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the air force being a squadron of
spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in
the Prime Minister's bath). New Zealand only has one more level of
escalation, which is "Croikey, I hope Australia will come end riscue as."

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to
"She'll be right, mate." Two more escalation levels remain, "Crikey, I
think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is
cancelled." There has never been a situation that has warranted the use of
the final escalation level.

Americans, as expected, are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of
their allies...

...just in case.

Hi Keith,

I haven't seen that one - definitely one for my 'Saved from newsgroups'
folder.

I wonder if we will get a contribution from Aussie Phil on that.

Cheers

Mike