On Thu, 20 Sep 2007 16:22:02 -0700, Steven wrote:

Well-known and frowned on Usenet Troll Andre Jute was found dead in
his residence in an apparently grisly scene today.

Police have given few details but it's believed he encountered an IES
(Improvised Explosive Sockpuppet).

Rumors of the death of pitifully obvious Usenet troll Andre Jute have
been largely exaggerated as he has recently been spotted hurriedly leaving
an airport men's-room stall where he was furiously tapping his foot and
signaling under the stall divider before police informants scared him
away. He was later spotted trying to hail a gypsy cab in a shabby alleyway
before the cab sped away. Questioning of the cabby, a Mr. Marlin Spike of
Blue Jacket Ave, revealed that Mr Jute appeared delusional and smelled
strongly of urine and Pro-Gold contact cleaner. Mr. Spike said, "I aint
pickin' up no crazy audiophool. He looked real agitated; had this wild
look in his eyes and was muttering something about wike, wikes or
something". When Mr. Spike asked Jute where he needed a ride, Mr. Jute
replied that he "needed to get to a drugstore fast for some astoglide and
a condom". He then pulled a gassy power triode from out of his pants.
Local and state law enforcement are calling for the public's help in
apprehending this man before he embarrasses himself and his hobby again.

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