"Andy Evans" wrote in message
oups.com...
It's ten twelve inch guns could sink a whelk stall with a single salvo
from 1800 yards.

Not a wise move - the punitive powers of whelks are widely
underestimated. Whelks, as you already know, are scavengers and
carnivores, equipped with an extensible proboscis, tipped with a
filelike radula, with which they bore holes through the shells of crabs
and lobsters, and a large, muscular foot with which they hold their
victims. Reports indicate a maximum length of 16 in. (40.6 cm) for the
knobbed whelk but off Hiroshima grow beds of the so-called "Hara-Kiri"
whelk, genetically altered by radioactivity over innumerable
generations. Anectotally, they are reputed to be able to bore a hole in
the underwater plating of, for instance, a floating warship - say for
the sake of argument, the size of the Dreadnought.

Yes indeed. The whelk is not a force to be trifled with. But however,
if you look at Amendment 117B of the Rules of Engagement for
HM battleships, as drawn up by the Admiralty in 1906, you will find that
even back in the pre WW1 days, although phosgene gas had still to be
invented, their Lordships of the Admiralty had an effective WD (whelk
deterrent) The armour plating of battle ships was to be treated with the
hardest-setting substance known to man, so hard that even
the Hara-Kiri whelk would dent its proboscis in efforts of penetration.
The substance used is found in abundance in all ships messes, and land based
military canteens. It is commonly known as cook-house mashed potato.
The most resilient variant is to be found in the corporals' mess at the
Brigade
of Guards depot at Pirbright.

Marine biologists
examining their brains have detected unusual activity in that area
which in humans is associated with senseless and impulsive acts of
revenge.

Now prevalent in most British high streets and bus shelters after the
pubs close:-)

Iain